School Time!
by gdahs
Summary: stewie gets sent into school and gets into fights and trouble. Meanwhile peter thinking lois had left him even though she didnt gets a girlfriend leaving lois brokenhearted x
1. Chapter 1

**School Time**

(griffin family is sitting downstairs watch tv, again)

Tom Tucker: I'm tom tucker

Joyce Kinny: and i'm Joyce kinney on the channel 5 news!

Tom Tucker: This just in 3 year old have to go to school, what else is wier-

Joyce Kinny: er, tom. 3 year olds have always gone to school

Tom Tucker: what, really. how come i never heard of this

Joyce Kinney: i don't know but everyone starts school when 3

Tom Tucker: really? how long was this?

Joyce Kinny: years, tom, ages!

Tom Tucker: ooh yeah, I HATE YOU B***c! embarress me on live television sure don't you! i liked diane simmons better

Joyce Kinney: she was a murderer! she killed james woods, derak wilcox, stephanie, Muriel Goldman, Isabella, physillis, and attempted to kill lois griffin but she got shot by a mysterious shooter! ( at saying "mysterious shooter" stewie chuckles and brian look at stewie suspiciously)

Tom: well i liked it when she wasn't a murderer and was here, bitch

Camera man 1: shouldn't we cut

Producer: yeah, go ahead, sorry folks!

(the tv is then on a blank screen, then peter changes the channel to something else)

Lois: omg! i forgot about stewie!

Stewie & Peter: huh?

Lois: he's 3 and he needs to go to school!

Stewie: ohhh... myyy... godddd! (so slow which makes brian and chris stare at him) im 3, what the hell i thought i'm 1

Chris: aint ya?

Peter: he's one, lois

Meg: you dumbasses, remember his threeeeee parties!

Stewie & Chris: oohh yeah!

Peter: ohhh yeah the parties, they were freaking hillirious, everyonce got drunk and the police were starting to hang around, and the other one was like my bachelor party but way better, toddlers parties can be fun if you put a lot of work into it ya know, you should of been there but you was outta town... i mean nice weather we havin .(lois stares at peter angrilly and blankly until peter talks again) ya know what im not gonna pretend and care, lois. go do whatever ya want about the school just leave me outta of it( eyes glued to the screen)

Lois: how could you not care he's your son, peter!

Brian: dont bother getting through to peter. Theres no point and remember the last time he tried to get meg to go a lesbian school ( even though brian wasnt living with the griffins at the time, lets just say he got told by peter or someone)

**Flashback**

_(when meg was 3)_

_Stephanie: soooo, meg! wanna make out(sexilly)_

_Jullie: ew, she so ugly she make me wanna puke_

_Meg: go to hell, steph..._

_Stephanie: you know you want to(sexily trying to seduce her)_

_Meg: (staring) sure?_

_(5mins later stephanie and julie are in the closet making out)_

_Meg:(panting) im sorry but im not gay, my dad forced me here_

_Stephanie: (not panting, kinda bored) thank you. Your are rubbish and your body is so ew!_

_(meg punches her in the face then runs out)_

**End of flashback**

Lois: on seconds thought, peter i can do this on my own (remembering the lesbian school)

Peter: wait i can totally get him into a school, i know i said i dont wanna but now you want me to stay outta it i will help stewie get into school

**1 week later**

(lois has just dropped stewie off at the new school he got accepted into with the help from peter, stewie walks into the school and gets introduced to by the headteacher)

Headteacher: heyyyyy

Stewie: hey, do you know where the... are you gay?

Headmaster: we all areeee little cute fella, this is a gay camp like the places name(points to it which says "gay camp")

Stewie: peter didnt(trying to convince himself)

(stewie is sitting in the classroom with about 4 gay boys and 5 lesbians)

Tom: heyyy, whats your name

Stewie: stewie, whats yours

Tom: tom, you know, i like you

Stewie: go away, i'm not gay, my parents forced me here

Tom: oh (walks away)

(teacher walks in)

Teacher: so how you doing kids, today we gonna have fun doing a sport, like football or badminton, any questions?

Stewie: yeah, why am i in gay camp, im not gay

(everyone gasps)

Teacher: so your hetorsexual?

Stewie: yeah... I might be Bisexual, not sure...dude

(stewie is sitting outside and got out his phone and called brian)

Brian: hello

Stewie: hey, brain

Brian: whats up, kiddo and i wanna ask you something when you get back

Stewie: okkk, shoot

Brian: what!

Stewie: Go, what is it that you wanna ask me?

Brian: oh? ill ask you later like i said

Stewie: okkk, great(sarcasm)

Brian: whats up

Stewie: well you'll never guess what this place is

Brian: what?

Stewie: gay camp

Brian: what! so peter sent you to gay camp when he was sopposed to send you to a school even thought due to the fact you are probarly straight

Stewie: yeah... what do you mean probarly?

Brian: er... I'll go tell lois(brian hangs up)

(stewie sighs and waits for lois to pick him up and he couldnt believe this because hes not gay that he knew off anyway)

(lois just got off the phone to brian and went to go to talk to peter, and stewie is still waiting by the camp)

Lois: peter, how come you sent stewie to a gays camp? I said school, SCHOOL!

Peter: oh, really?

Lois: Peter! ok i need to calm down,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.(pauses) i said school peter not camp and due to the fact that we think hes hetoresexual and you shouldnt send kids to camps for people who are gay. its not right. straight or gay, they are equal!

Peter: oh right.(guilitly)I'm sorry, lois. this is why i shouldnt of joined in on helping you, lois

_(peter is only being nice to lois because hes starting to think that lois doesnt love him anymore and might leave him, i will go more into that the next chapter)_

_Authors note: btw i am not againts gays, i wasnt trying to be offencive if i did, sorry if i did. and i got the idea from the episode "family gay" you know when stewie and brian sent peter to straight camp to beome straight, except in my story the camp is for people to try to accept it or something i dunno, trying my best not to make it offensive, and the next one he goes to a school and gets into a fight and peter tries to fix his marriage with lois,(nothing bout gays the next chapter btw) to be continoued! :D _


	2. Chapter 2

**Drinks the Marriage Away!**

Lois: peter, we need to talk

Peter: sure lois

Lois: im still furious about you sending stewie that gay camp, so i think that we should-

Peter: split up! omg im sorry lois, i didnt know (bursts into tears) i love you, lois but goodbye! (runs upstairs in tears)

Lois: what? i was going to say work together(sighs)

Brian:(walks in kitchen) hey lois, good news

Lois: did you win the lottery?

Brian: no

Lois: dont care(continues cleaning)

Brian: i was just-

Lois: dont care, brian!

Brian: ok(walks off)

**1 hour later**

Lois: brian i need your help

Brian: better then-

Lois: whatever. Brian i need your help to try to get stewie into a school

Brian: thats what im trying to say

Lois: whatever. so can you help

Brian: i found a school

Lois: great! so what school did you find

Brian: er... its only down the road

Lois: really? i never saw it

Brian: yer, its new

Lois: great!

(stewie walks past)

Lois: theres my little boy, going to school

Stewie: great(sarcasm) better actually be a school

**At the drunkern clam**

Peter: quagmire, joe you are my bestest friends so im gonna tell you

Quagmire: why what wrong, peter( a lady walks past) giggity

Joe: yeah, peter like you said we're your bestest friends so tell us

Peter: (sighs) Lois left me, waaagh (puts his head down knocking his beer off the table)

Quagmire: really! so lois is free, giggity

Joe: QUAGMIRE! its ok peter, you know what you dont need her, you're better off without her

Peter: nooooooooooooo!

Quagmire: welcome back to the single life, mate. we should rub it in her face, lets go drinking all night and party like we live forever

Joe: yeah!

Peter: i don't know

Quagmire: come on

Peter: guy-

Joe: COME ON!

Peter: you know what, yeah!

Quagmire: YEAH!

Peter: yeah i dont need her!

Quagmire & Joe & Peter: YEAHHHHHH!

**5 hours later**

(they are at the strip club)

Joe: YEAH!(slurred)

Quagmire: GIGGITY!(slurred)

Peter: THIS IS THE LIFE GUYS(slurred)

Joe: see... peter, hoooow easy... it is!

Peter: yeah, ya know what... im going to make out... with that woman!

**Griffins house**

Lois: brian, im worried about peter(in the bedroom and brian is at the foot of the bed) i cant sleep cuz im so scared somethings happened to him

Brian: he'll be fine, hes probarly out drinking, he'll turn up

Lois: but brian, he's never this late and its been hours... omg!

Brian: what?

Lois: he thought i was leaving him this morning, omg! hes probarly out drinking his troubles away

Brian: or out... making out with some woman to get over you

Lois: THATS EVEN WORSE! OMG!

stewie: some people are trying to sleep here(shouts from his room)

_Authors note: did you like it, i know in the last chapter i said stewie gets into a fight but i thought i'd do that the next chapter! Please Review! xxxxxxxxxxx_


	3. Chapter 3

**Makey Fighty**

Lois: brian, what am i gonna do, omg! he's probarlly cheating on me right now

Brian: now calm down, its not like hes ross from friends

**Flashback**

_Rachel: you slept with another woman!_

_Ross: we were on a break!_

_Rachel: after 4 hours we were on a break, you slept with another woman!_

_Ross: I'm sorry, rachel_

_(rachel hits ross with a newspaper angrilly)_

**End of Flashback**

(peter walks in the house drunkingly with a woman, lois rushes downstairs shockingly)

Peter: hey, lois... check out...my new girlfriend her...name laura(slurred)

Lois: peter! what the hell, we're married

Peter: we broke...up(then peter kisses laura leaving lois shocked and hurt)

Lois: no we didn't(whispers)

(brian walks downstairs)

Brian: woooah! maybe i was wrong he is like ross from friends(lois gives brian a cold look, then she runs upstairs in tears)

Brian: PETER!

Peter: shu-up!...you don't own...me, mom

Brian: mom? ok i gotta stop this! im sorry lady but you have to get out

Laura: i'm peters new girlfriend! duh!

Brian: no your not get the hell out or...i'll bark you out

Laura: whatever

Peter: I'm...here...to...get my...stuff

Brian: your not going anywhere, and laura im sorry buut i have to do this(barks viciously at laura chasing her out and running)

Peter: STOP, ruining...my...life

Brian: your married now get upstairs

Peter: NO! im going...to sleep...on couch(trips over, falling on the couch then snoring)

Brain: fine(walks upstairs to lois and peters room to see lois crying in the bed)

Lois: i can't believe this(sniffles loudly)

Brian: this will blow over lois

Lois: he cheated on me, brian! and who knows what else they did

Brian: they only kissed, and he was trying to get over you! he thought you left him

Lois: its been 12hours brian

Brian: (sighs) its best to see if you could talk it out tommorow

Stewie: Seriously(shouts) people are trying to sleep in here(they ignore stewies comment)

Lois: i guess so brian,thank you(still sniffing) where is peter

Brian: sleeping on the couch

Lois: ok(sighs) goodnight

**The next day**

(lois is staring at her husband on the couch still asleep, tears in her eyes and sighs)

Brian: ok lois, you need to go out, maybe you can take stewie for a walk

Lois: yeah i guess so, its best isnt it brian. (whispers_ i'll be back peter, i love you, we'll talk later)_

(lois takes stewie and brian to the park, lois plays fetch with brian while stewie is in the sandbox building sandcastles)

Stewie: this does not look like a castle doesnt it

(tom a boy the same age as stewie walks over)(i had to make up a name because someone might find it offensive ok)

Hattie: what ya doing, dumbarse

Stewie: oh and who do you soppose to be, fatty

Hattie: im hat, give me your lunch money

Stewie: piss off

Hattie: I SAID GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY

Stewie: AND IM SAYING PISS OFF

Hattie: oooh, we got a stand up guy here

Stewie: ooh very funny,and hat? what kind of name is that! bob says hey hat, then hat says what, ben says no i was telling my friend to put on their hat!

Hattie: oh ha ha very funny, my full name is hattie! now GIVE ME YOUR MONEY

Stewie: PISS OFF BITCH!(punches hattie giving him a bleeding nose and he punches stewie and they were fighting for the next 2mins)

Brian: omg lois

Lois: what!

Brian: stewies fighting with some kid there

Lois: omg!

(lois and brian run there and stop the fight, they go the hospital to check if they're ok, stewies only got a bleeding nose and cuts from the fight but hattie got a broken arm and nose but stewie got away from it because hes a baby)

Lois: stewie how could you

Stewie: he started it!

Lois: i dont care, stewie(lois walks out the room)(brian walks in the room)

Brian: at least you won

Stewie: yeah, at least i won

(brian laughs)

_Authors note: please review nice things. no offence to people if there is a name called hattie, i tried to make a name up just in case it was offensive to you, so im sorry if there is and offended you x_


End file.
